What actually happens
A Cadillac that starts on its own
Alexia is a little girl who annoys her father on a drive and unbuckles her seatbelt, and when he turns around to scold her they crash. She needs a titanium plate in her skull, and when she leaves the hospital she ignores her parents and passionately hugs the car. Years later she has a large scar beside her ear and a job as a showgirl at a car show. After a show, a fan follows her into the parking lot, declares his love and forces a kiss on her, and she kills him with her metal hair stick. Back in the showroom, a tuned Cadillac she modeled with starts up on its own. She gets in naked and has sex with it. It turns out Alexia has killed three more men and a woman in recent months, while living with parents who don't know.
Reading this instead of watching it is the correct decision. Scaredy Cat makes that decision automatic, for free.
A party with a pregnancy test
Alexia goes to a house party and begins to have sex with her coworker Justine. Motor oil then leaks from her body. She takes a pregnancy test, which is positive, and tries to end the pregnancy on the spot with her hair stick, but it doesn't work. That's the scene people dread most. It comes early in the movie, at the house party. Afterward she comes out and kills Justine and two other men, although one woman gets away. Alexia goes home, tries to burn a bloody blanket, and sets the house on fire. She shuts her parents in their bedroom and leaves them there.
A broken nose and a missing boy's name
Alexia is now wanted for murder. She cuts her hair, tapes down her chest and her stomach, and breaks her own nose to look like Adrien Legrand, a boy who vanished ten years ago at the age of seven. She goes to the police claiming to be Adrien. Adrien's father, Vincent Legrand, is a fire captain, takes her in as his son, and turns down a DNA test. Vincent takes "Adrien" to the fire station, where he presents the new arrival to his crew. Alexia never speaks, and the firefighters are puzzled by this silent, androgynous kid but keep quiet. She becomes an apprentice under Vincent. When a firefighter questions Adrien's identity, Vincent shuts him down and tells him never to bring up his son again.
A fire station party and an unexpected routine
Vincent injects steroids to keep up his strength, but his body is building a tolerance. Alexia, disturbed by his possessiveness, thinks about escaping. After Vincent's heart goes wrong from a large dose, she decides to stay. Vincent's ex-wife visits her son and finds a heavily pregnant Alexia with nothing taped down. She keeps the secret, because she does not want to disturb her ex-husband's delusion, and she begs Alexia to look after him. Vincent himself eventually admits the delusion and tells Alexia that he will treat her as his son whoever she turns out to be. At a party at the station, the firefighters want Adrien to dance, so Alexia performs her showgirl choreography and everyone is confused. Vincent leaves, disappointed, and Alexia afterward has sex with a fire engine.
The ending, explained
Alexia's body keeps breaking down, and the skin of her stomach tears open to show new metal plates. When the pregnancy reaches its end she tells Vincent her real name. She briefly tries to seduce him, and then begs him for help as labor starts. Vincent helps her give birth, and the titanium side of her skull splits open on her last push, which kills her. The newborn has patches of titanium on its body. Vincent holds the baby and says, "I'm here."
The post-credits ruling
There is no post-credits scene. You can leave when the credits start.
✓ Spoiled safelyDog status: fine, no dog dies.
Questions people ask at 1am
Is Titane scary?
Yes, Titane is a 6 out of 10 with medium dread. The fear is graphic body horror and a few violent scenes, with some tenderness between Alexia and Vincent.
How does Titane end?
Alexia gives birth with Vincent's help and dies when her skull splits open. The baby has patches of titanium, and Vincent holds it and says he is there.
Does the dog die in Titane?
No dog dies in Titane, and no other animal dies either.
Is there a post-credits scene in Titane?
No. Titane has no post-credits scene, so you can leave when the credits start.
Why does Alexia pretend to be Adrien in Titane?
Alexia is wanted for murder, so she disguises herself as Adrien Legrand, a boy who went missing ten years earlier. His father, a fire captain, accepts her as his son without a DNA test.
