Is The X-Files Scary? The Verdict and the Whole Plot
Yes, 5 out of 10. Most episodes are standalone monster or killer cases with a government conspiracy running underneath.
Ruling: It is uneven by design: some episodes are comedies, and others involve serial killers and things that live in sewers.
The X-Files runs eleven seasons and 218 episodes. Most are a standalone monster or killer, and the rest chase a government conspiracy about aliens. Mulder believes in the aliens, and Scully is a medical doctor assigned to explain them away.
The premise, briefly
Two FBI agents investigate unsolved paranormal cases: Mulder believes in aliens because his sister was abducted, and Scully is a medical doctor assigned to debunk him.
The verdict above is spoiler-free. Everything below, including the ending, stays hidden until you pick a depth.
The original run ends with Mulder escaping a military death sentence and going on the run with Scully, while helicopters destroy a cliff dwelling with the Cigarette Smoking Man in it. The final episode of the revival has them still searching for their son William.
Home, the second episode of season four. An infant with disturbing birth defects has died in a small, otherwise peaceful town, and that is what the agents arrive to look into. Skip it if an infant's death is where you draw the line.
A dog dies. In one episode a Pomeranian runs into the woods and is killed: you hear yelping and see nothing. An elephant and a gorilla die too.
It is mostly self-contained monster cases with a conspiracy running through some of them, so knowing the big plot spoils very few of the individual scares.
How it ends, the scene you're dreading, what happens to the dog, and the bottom line. About twenty seconds to read.
What actually happens
The skeptic gets assigned to the believer
Mulder is an FBI profiler who is certain that aliens exist, because his sister Samantha was claimed to have been abducted when he was twelve. His colleagues call him "Spooky Mulder" and park him in a little-known department that handles unsolved cases, the X-Files. In the pilot, Scully, a medical doctor and natural skeptic, is assigned to work with him so she can debunk his theories, and over the years she rarely manages to refute them completely. Many of the early episodes are standalone cases. In Ice, an Arctic research team turns on each other and themselves after drilling deeper into the ice. In Tooms, a man who was locked in a sanitarium for assaulting Scully is released and needs to kill. Season two turns personal when Duane Barry, an ex-FBI agent who escaped a mental hospital, holds hostages in a travel agency. Scully is then attacked, vanishes, and reappears comatose in a hospital. Later, an alien bounty hunter kidnaps her to trade for Samantha. The season ends with a stolen set of files that need a Navajo code talker to decode.
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The Cigarette Smoking Man gets a speaking schedule
Season three splits the show into two kinds of episode. The mythology episodes follow the Syndicate, a group of men inside the U.S. government who act as the go-between for humanity and aliens, and their most visible face, the Cigarette Smoking Man. He works to recover the stolen files, and Mulder and Scully chase down an old photograph of Mulder's father with unnamed men. The standalone episodes are all over the place. A serial killer seduces women through an online service, a small town fills up with bodies covered in cockroaches, and two people say aliens took them, and the agents try to sort out their story.
Home, the episode with a warning label
This is the episode to know about in advance. Home is the second episode of season four, right after Herrenvolk, in which Jeremiah Smith, pursued by an alien bounty hunter, takes Mulder to a farm. In Home, the agents go to a small, otherwise peaceful town because an infant with disturbing birth defects has died. That is the part to know before you press play. If it is where you draw the line, skip the episode. Later that season, Sanguinarium sends them to a hospital's plastic surgery unit, where the deaths hint at something supernatural, and in Leonard Betts a body disappears from a morgue. Fear for Scully's health sends Mulder back to her abduction, and in Small Potatoes babies are born with tails. The finale, Gethsemane, has researchers in northern Canada finding what may be proof of alien existence, a syndicate assassin going after Scully, and a shocking conclusion.
Season five starts with Mulder dead on paper
Season five opens with Scully helping Mulder fake his death, and then Scully lies on her deathbed while the Cigarette Smoking Man decides to help Mulder. Then the series gets playful. The Post-Modern Prometheus is filmed in black and white. In Bad Blood, Mulder kills a teenage boy he mistakes for a vampire. In Emily, Scully tries to keep her daughter alive while Mulder looks into where the girl came from. Season six reopens the X-Files. In How the Ghosts Stole Christmas, Mulder talks Scully out of wrapping presents on Christmas Eve to go on a stakeout, and in Alpha, several killings are pinned on a Wanshang Dhole, an Asian dog that was supposed to be extinct. In the mythology, the alien colonists plan to use a sentient virus called the black oil to turn humanity into a slave race. In the episodes Two Fathers and One Son, the rebel faction of aliens destroys the Syndicate, and the colonists send in Super Soldiers who look human but are biologically alien.
Mulder is abducted and the show keeps going
The seventh season finale, Requiem, ends with Mulder abducted by aliens, and afterward Scully is a reluctant believer who still reaches for science first. John Doggett takes Mulder's place as Scully's partner and joins the search for him, and later Monica Reyes joins in too. Mulder gets a funeral, a former abductee wakes up from the dead, and Scully's labor starts somewhere remote while the Super Soldiers replace key people in the government. In season nine, Scully is reassigned to the Quantico Training Academy, and one of Doggett's old Marine associates tells him she is a Super Soldier. The show then comes back for two more seasons. In season ten, Mulder is contacted by Scully at the request of Skinner, the X-Files reopen, and a panic starts when people all over the country fall gravely ill. In season eleven Scully is hospitalized after a seizure triggered by a vision involving their son William, and the season also has two teenagers who each believe the other is a monster, a boy attacked by an animal in Connecticut, and a man abducted and stripped of his organs.
The ending, explained
The original nine seasons end with Mulder missing for a year, then found being held for the homicide of Knowle Rohrer, a Super Soldier he could not possibly have killed. Mulder is also secretly put through a military tribunal for breaking into Mount Weather and viewing the plans for an alien invasion and colonization. The verdict is guilty and the sentence is death. Skinner, Reyes, Doggett, Scully and Alvin Kersh help him break out. He and Scully become fugitives, travel to New Mexico, and black helicopters wreck an Anasazi cliff dwelling with the Cigarette Smoking Man inside. The revival adds two more seasons. In the final episode, My Struggle IV, Mulder and Scully are still searching for their long lost son William, while the Cigarette Smoking Man is still trying to learn what makes the boy special.
The post-credits ruling
There is no post-credits scene in any episode. You can leave when the credits start.
Questions people ask at 1am
The whole plot of The X-Files is hidden, ending included. It stays that way until you ask.
The X-Files has 218 episodes, and you can know how it goes without watching any of them. Install Scaredy Cat and it blurs horror before you see it.
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